I recently had a conversation with a friend. I don’t use the word friend lightly. Friendship, to me, is marked by honesty, shared experience, and mutual support.
That last element – support – stood out most in the encounter. Some of the most meaningful words I’ve ever heard are I feel supported by you.
Support isn’t just an action; it’s a vocation and a way of being. I have been fortunate in my career to create structures that accompany people through complex journeys – personally and professionally. My best work has come from listening deeply, holding space for complexity, and helping others find clarity.
Why is support so central to my calling? Because I’ve failed at it. I’ve too often gotten distracted, in a hurry, or chosen to place my focus on other more tangible things. And I’ve also known what it is like to pursue work without support.
I find joy in supporting others because I deeply value being supported.
Why do we need support?
I cannot escape a quote that I encountered last year from Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey. This isn’t the first time it’s shown up in my writing:
In an ordinary organization, most people are doing a second job no one is paying them for… covering up their weakness, managing other peoples' impressions of them, showing themselves to their best advantage, playing politics, hiding their inadequacies, hiding their uncertainties, hiding their limitations. Hiding. We regard this as the single biggest loss of resources that organizations suffer every day. Is anything more valuable than the way that people spend their energies?
This quote from Kegan’s and Lahey’s An Everyone Culture perfectly articulates what I’ve observed: people perform instead of being present. We lose ourselves in the expectations of others.
In recent years, I’ve worked with leaders in the middle of their careers who feel unmoored. The motivations that once drove them – often grounded in faith or youthful optimism – have faded. Many are asking: Why am I doing what I’m doing?
I’ve asked that, too.
While I don’t have a final answer, I’ve learned that we can’t hold these questions alone. Nor do we need to.
We need not be a hero. We can simply be a friend.
One thing I valued in my recent conversation was my friend’s humility. Though accomplished, she named what she still had to learn.
Her humility supported me – giving me permission to be where I am.
As I explore systems thinking, complexity, and psychology, I often face what I don’t know. Her posture reminded me: I’m not alone, and I don’t need to be the hero. I can lean into others.
Thomas Hübl says: “We aren’t supposed to face the traumas of the world alone. That level of trying to be a hero is not needed.”
Support comes through presence, not performance.
The simple yet transformative act of holding space for one another
Our call was scheduled for 60 minutes. We spent much of that catching up on recent travels, our families, and our work. Only in an agreed upon extra half hour did we enter deeper reflection. That depth wouldn’t have emerged without time to settle in and listen.
Support takes time. But that space is where real connection – and transformation – happens.
We are so often in a hurry. There’s a great temptation to jump into “getting the work done.” Many urgent things call for our attention. Yet by gathering differently, by allowing the time to support one another, more becomes possible.
How might I support you?
Are you or your team navigating uncertainty or complexity?
Do you feel like you've lost the thread of your story?
You don’t need to carry this alone.
I support individuals and teams working for social change by helping them rediscover clarity, purpose, and connection. Together, we’ll explore your journey—where you began, what’s shifted, and what questions are rising now.
Let’s uncover the story that holds it all together.
👉 Explore my work at www.jasonferenczi.com
📬 Or reach out directly to start a conversation
For Reflection
Where in your life or work do you most need support right now?
Who supports you? And how might you offer support in return?
Photos are from our family’s recent trip to Hocking Hills State Park, a gorgeous space in southeastern Ohio.
Thank you for this illuminating reflection, Jason. These words were full of light for me: "My best work has come from listening deeply, holding space for complexity, and helping others find clarity... We need not be a hero. We can simply be a friend." Thank you for embodying this wisdom in your friendship with me.